i always think i was an optimist.
but after looking back at my past posts, i realised and finally admit that i am a pessimist.
like they say, "pang guan zhe qing".
i have a complicated mind.
-one of those moody days again.



oh ya.. today my company got event. haha i took part in the 4 X 400m relay!!
so funny.. after 2 weeks of whining that i din wan to be the first nor last runner, chris let me be the second and he took the first. actually i know he will let me one la.. ahha cos he very good ma. jus like those risk assessment, he also help me write, bowling competition, he put me as captain for our team, but he do all the coordination. hahaha..
next up, going to take part in the bowling competition!! for fun though. haha
recently, aunty commented that i am "wai rou nei gang" meaning i look very gentle but acutally, i am very tough. not good though, cos i think she suaning me.. cos she my working partner then hoh, my working pattern is, i do my way, i follow my way. i try to give in.. but if the end product is not nice, i dun give in.. thats why there are frictions.
i dun like myself when working, cos i am really messy during the process jus to get a good end product. in the end, ppl always notices the process more. shit.
how i hope i can jus throw and not keep wat i think may still be useful.
i really pei fu my classmates, they can email and tok abt sch work during working hours.. and they send to my company email add. so i have to read during work and kaoz so many.. and i feel so guilty cos i reading during working hours. haiz...
they are so good, cos i going to do the power point, i dun have to do research. but guess wat, one of my grp partner, jus send me chunks and chunks of research papers. am i supposed to read them all? then i might as well research myself. search copy and paste. HAIZ
ok.. actually i am supposed to study.. but no strength.. upset moody moodless. aiya dunno.
OK I GO STUDY! nitez!!

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
2:46 AM

Life's like that. In life, different people come into your life for different reasons. Some stay, some don't. Some stay longer than others. There are fair weather friends and those who will stick with you no matter what. There are high maintenance friends and low maintenance ones. Some, no matter how long apart you've been, you simply pick up from where you left off. Others, you just feel this uncomfortable, awkward, deafening silence and don't know what to say to each other.

haiz.. there i go again.. thinking again..
well, copied this from candice's old blog, something she copied from somewhere in 2004..
haha.. haiz..
life is like that.
pple changes.
for this, thinking of my family always make me feel better.
I love my dad, mummy, sisters, anuties, uncles and my cousins!!!

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
1:24 AM

harlow, back again.
recently not very happy. mostly at work. feeling sian liao. wan to retire. hahaha -_-
well, not not not happy. with ppl with work at work. jus feel like faster do faster go. why am i like that!! i dunno... being unhappy is perhaps due to the ppl ard me, but i think my thinking is also part of the reason? but i cant really control my mind properly now.. abit like having jing1 shen2 fen1 lie4. ahhHhHHhH!!!!!!!!
shitty la.. having heart attacks soon.. heart pain sia.. must relax myself liao.. let it go let it go......
think i giving out too much of the negative aura.. ppl ard me are feeling that i am very fierce..
and i scold ppl like no business. i am so sorry la. but even if u tok properly to me, i might not answer u properly. because i jus feel like not liking everybody. sorry la. cant help it.
sort of looking at everything in the most negative manner. things that ppl say will jus appear bad to me. and i cant accept comments.
not me not me!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................................................!!
going to break down and disintegrate soon.. haha..
btw i failed my driving. haha laugh la. stupid nv see ppl cross road. cock-eye ma. cannot meh!
haha.. nvm la. jus laugh lo.
must pass the second time can liao.
watever la.. actually i dunno wat i writing. my ang mo is like broken de broken lo.. haha..
but i understand it now la. maybe tml i wont understand liao.. watever la..
i'll try to look at things the brighter way k.
difficult but i'll try.
ok la.. enough. dun really remember wat i wan to write.
oh ya.. STOP ASKING ME TO TRY WHITE PANTS!!!!
nitez

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
4:17 AM