jus back from our yearly sentosa event. :) totally love the sun though I always get second degree burnt after each sun tan.
I like to be orh lu lu and not white white.. but mummy preferred me to be white white. :( hence was not encouraging whenever I have events involving the sun! :( but I went on anyway, I told her some crap reasons on "why I sld have a suntanned complextion".
I think she believed me. Hohoho
Anw, the other day, my family and I went for dinner together and we ended up dabaoing home due to the massive dine in queue! It's a must try: Arnolds fried chicken at city plaza!
And then, sandy said tt she is ready to quit her job and go into our business.. And I am supposed to come up w a proposal.. It's in my head, but our capital is not enough yet. Perhaps we can start w something small?
And then, she's ready to quit cos she had acheived what she had stated to want to acheive 3 yrs back. Then it sets me thinking.. Have I acheived what I wanted to acheive when I started out?
Yes.. I did it 2 or 3yrs back.. Perhaps tts why I feel rather mudane going to work everyday.. I sld move on.. And yes, tue interview is a MUST DO IT. I must not be hesitant like I did the other day. And yes, in this society, for fair competition, one must put down emotions and feelings for fellow competitors, ESP when it's ur frens. Haiz.. Tts my weakness. I dun wanna compete unless challenged.
Put tt aside. Mum had been very Very VERY discouraging whenever we 3 talk abt our dreams.. To own a business together. Combining our strength together, I think we can acheive almost anything. :) but.. Haiz..
I dun like it whenever mum says: "等我死了，你们什么都可以做咯。"
I seriously hate it. but what can we do? We can only postpone it.. and no, I am not going to drag any much longer.. Cos aren't we suppose to work w our passion?
And during dinner w mum jus now, I nearly argued w her.. And I jus told her, we know what we wan to do. Everybody have their own dreams. Who is borned to know everything? Aren't life abt learning?how wld u know when u nv tried?
Then I changed topic. Else I think I will be upset 死了.
She's always opposing.. There's so many things I wanna try, wanna do.. But she's nv encouraging. There are many things which I gave up, put aside, forgot abt it.. Or become too old to even try.
I dowan to live w regrets.. I dowan to be jus looking forward.. I wanna enjoy the scenery at the side of the journey too.
She told me, ask papa to go and talk to her.
And yes, I told papa at his deathbed, the 3 of us are going to be entrepreuers one day. Jus like what he wanna be.. Jus a lil different.
And yes, I hope papa really go and talk to her..
And nope, I haven forgotten my promise to papa.. Only the part where I won't be late for work. =/
and papa, u know what? For a brief moment jus now, I forgotten that u left.. I was looking for u..
What a blur block I am ya?
I still miss u.. See ya tonight in my dreams k. :)

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
9:53 PM

TQW finally sold off his tt shares.. but i am still holding.
Then jus now, he come and tell me, today sure drop jialat jialat.
then tap and tap my shoulder cos i nv really look at him in the eye.
partially cos i am doing my stuff and totally because i dowan to hear these kind of things in the morning.
and he tap till so shuang la!! ARGH.
anyway, i had been reminding myself from the MRT till company "be cool be cool.. this will happen this will happen......"
but i still got pissed la.
thats why i am here ya.
I really hope, ppl can have some EQ at least.
its not always abt onself k..
anw, at least i dun say bu ji li words to ppl when i know what they have or watever.
haiz.
can i have the same treatment?
and seriously, i dowan to hear the same things every morn. it totally spoils my day.
anw, going swimming later! =) but i cannot imagine myself even floating today. a bit tired. haa
ok la.. i think i am better le.
BYE!

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
7:43 AM

And oh yes, TQW was really excited abt DOW tt he told me immediately when i stepped in. And i stood far far away. Haha sorry, cos i will get very moody sld someone talk too loudly into my ears plus hit me early in the morning. Haha

Something funny last week:
Me: *bought lotsa chocolates and tidbits, happily put them into proper storage conditions*
Mummy: why u buy so much!?!! Nobody eat leh!
Me: isit???
Mummy: ya la!! 全部放在我的冰橱摆美, 没有人要吃，等到它坏。。 blah blah blah...
Me: *act blur*
Mummy: *opens fridge* eh, 那些chocolate leh??!!
Me: eh??!! 不见了啊??! 应该已经不在我的肚子了!!
Mummy: *comes to me and speaks very softly..* 你很stress是吗?
Me: 没有啦！吃了不会停！hehehe

Mummy jus have the tendency to scold and scold before getting the facts right.. Haha

Ytd was so shocked when boss, CCL and EC came into microlab suddenly. And boss went:
"ANNNNNAAA!!!!" 吓到我啦. Cos I was backfacing the door.
"为什么我们今年花这么少钱????!!! 我好难交代哦!!"
I was like -_____-||| didn't yeefong challenged me to save 200K for the lab this year? But I din say la..
But boss expression was priceless. SO CUTE!!!
"有什么东西你觉得我们应该要买的吗??"
And we went ard lab looking for stuff we could buy.. CCL and EC were damn happy cos they are spendthrifts!! Contradicting cos they are the men and I am the woman! Haha
Anw, we decided to use the money to do more improvement work.
U know, I get very happy when I can work w boss too. Haha and talking abt money issues too. :)
But really, this is one of the most unique conversations I ever had at work. Haha

I'd definitely miss boss very much. Haiz

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
6:44 AM

Was in a foul mood these few days, but ok alr ba.
Though I was rather angry w CCL and VT last week cos of the audit issue, I think, that's jus life.
Anw, I still like to work w CCL, though sometimes his way of thinking is..... And sometimes really slow.... Haha but ok la. At least he said he let me 自由发挥. he actually came and help me move goods ytd lo. and we discussed abt the dilution stuff again for the néw method. and HE!, again, cannot understand how to calculate dilution factors.. I remember 5yrs ago, I explained to him and WFL, and forced them to accept tt I am right. (cos I know I am definitely right. Haha)
Ytd, tt prob surfaced again. I explained thrice. Then I leave him to calculate by himself. And FINALLY, he got it!!! U dunno how happy I was man.. It's like e feeling of a teacher who finally managed to get the student to understand. :)
Then he said, "alamak, I am so stupid!" haha it's funny to hear ur superior say tt. But he's always finding chances to say I am stupid. -_-||| he managed once, and he was like dancing ard like he won some competition. Haha.. That was a stupid mistake I made. :)
Anw, CCL always seems to be able to guess my mood etc. And tt way he talks, made me somehow motivated, sometimes.
Oh and ytd, there's this newbie from HSBC who dragged me to talk. :( but I had a little time, so I listened. and I swear, I fell asleep sometimes, till her senior I think came and talk. Haha.. I dun like her way of putting others down to bring her product out. And she talk for a bloody half hour on other ppl product etc. Pls la.. Straight forward abit.. Jus intro ur product. And she use a stupid analogy... Saying, "savings is like the legs of a table.. Doesn't matter if the table topples and breaks..." then she drift off.. And change topic. I think she knows she say wrongly Liao. Else I'd ask her, if the table breaks, I still need the legs for wat? Haha
Was so tired I concussed at 830 ytd again. But I woke up at 12, 2, 3, 4 and 5 to see time. -_-||| sian.
The day before, I clicked buy on something, then only remember when I was at work and didn't remember the name of it. -_-||| things look good recently. CHOY!! and wanna bet? I bet TQW is going to tell me excitedly tt DOW JONES go up by 200+ points! Pls dun hit my shoulder pls...
Okok... I needa chiong today. Dun slack dun slack anymore... :(

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
7:04 AM

I think my supplier's an idiot. wats the point of sending me a hardcopy of document via snail mail when i can jus print out from the soft copy she sent me?!
the reason is, I WAN AN OFFICIAL COPY! and yet, she jus print out that softcopy and sent me, without company stamp and signature! how "clever". anw, i cannot be bothered to talk to her anymore.
and another supplier, owe me a document for months! i do give some leeway and am flexible. but when taken granted, i make sure ur contact w me is damn rigid k. when i said, i wont do payment until i see that doc, i mean it.
i think WFL seriously have some prob. she ask me one thing, i told her the ans, then she conveyed the msg immediately, WRONG! haiz...
then SWL came to ask me for my TW itinerary and Taipa's number jus a day before shes flying off! SO HER STYLE! kns.. i was super reluctant to give her Taipa's number cos i told her before, need to make prior arrangements. but shes jus a bloody last min idiot la. but i gave her his number anw, jus in case, Taipa got extra driver and then he can EARN HER MONEY! ggrrrrr..
then i think HUMANS! are damn kpo kpo kpo! cannot stand it. GO ON! spread rumours! i love RUMOURS k.
confront me straight, dun talk behind my back.
ok i think its PMS soon.
MOODY.
BYE!!!

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
8:43 AM

Was angry w SY fren. Seriously an idiot. Cos SY had asked me to help him find a job, I jus tell him to email his resume to the respective company. And he asked if he can call me.
Call me for wat?? I alr said all the details I know. And him, not being able to find job for a few months alr, 3 months at least, told me tt time, any job is ok.
And so, tt day, when he asked to call, I said call in 1/2 hour cos I doing stuff. Then I waited for 1hr plus, haven call. Seriously spoil my whole timetable. Next day I still got test la! And so, I didn't pick up. Angry can.
And then the next day, my fren called me and told me that he haven receive this guy resume. And therefore, I told my fren, forget abt it, jus proceed w what he had, no need to wait.
And after 3 days, tt guy called me again.
He told me, he forgot to send. (so how serious is he abt looking for a job?)
And told me, he not interested in lab tech. (yet he said any job is ok)
Said he prefer sales and engineering. (even SY said he no engineering background and nv intro him engineering jobs)
And pls, sales.. Ya he can talk, but he's the kind of salesperson I cannot stand. >.<
and tt time, help him send that resume for sales, he really jus wait for me to settle, and keep bothering me! For goodnesssake! I am not HR! And I dun have a good impression of him from the first thing he said and the way he said. Hence, I didn't really bothered. If u dun help urself, no one can help u!
Argh.
Anw, I kinda like the new ger in lab. I see that old me in her.. Tt enthuism.. Tt I wanna teach her everything I know. I am not a selfish person k. And I hate politics.
anw, boss said I screwed my interview.. And he dunno how I did it, cos he expected me to be zai.
I dunno why too. But I black out during the interview. Things they say jus dun get into my head! Haiz
Anw, I was intimidated too. Too 紧张. But I didn't feel my heartbeat tt day.
Haiz.. And I can see tt boss is trying his best to help me. Can I pls 争气!!
He's placing me to walk w those who interviewed me tt day and ask me to front the auditors during the coming audit this week!
He said, it's my last chance to show them wat I really am. Haiz..
u know, I really dowan to go to jurong.. Cos of the politics and scary ppl there. But boss said, it's best to start anew.. A new environment will be better.. No old baggage. Haix true to a certain extent.
I wanna see boss smile.. He's starting to scold ppl since ytd. Abt the buying of some stuff, he came and asked me who asked me to buy so many things and wanted to scold tt person.. But I helped to explain and managed to calm him down..
Today, he raised his voice at TSL.. Cos of some delay in that stupid safety googles. And so, I step out and took partial of the blame. And explain to him the exact situation.. Managed to calm him down again.. I hope there's nothing else.. Argh..
today, there was some chemical leak while I was doing sampling. SS and I felt something wrong. And almost immediately, I Kenna choked on the chemical. And we ran further away and went to alert ppl. but I still sampled the water at that area. And ran out. It's like, almost immediately, my eyes was full of tears! Ok stupid u may say. But I know the situation or u know.
well, after we are done, then more fumes came out. And I know, if we were in a confined space, we'd be gone for sure.
I think I will go back and check the situation out tml.. If it is not normal still, I will bring it up.
OH SHIT. I forgot to do something!!!
ARGH.
Pls remember tml morning!!
Damn my bloody brain!!! Argh!!!!!!

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
1:10 AM

Ytd was the first time my thumbnail (mind u, it's not that thumbnail for pictures haha) bent over and my nail bleed internally. Literally see the blood ooze out but lucky was able to wash it off. Now the thumb is painful upon touch, so kinda 废.
Day before, met up w SML, supposed to sing. But stupid kbox is full, end up we went eating and eating. -_-|||
anw, kbox is stupid cos they jus keep pushing to other outlets. "u wan to try scape?" "u wan to try cineleisure?" make us walk here walk there. Ask them to call and check, machiam touch the phone will get poisoned.
Anw, was fun w SML. :) but then, she passed me something that ASM passed to her so tt I can pass to SWL. And I alr told ASM that I will not see SWL anytime soon, cos it's holidays. But I think she obmitted wat I said and jus pass tt responsibilty to me. I can tell u, the moment SML passed tt thing to me, I nearly threw it into the bin. Cos I am NOT WILLING to do anything for SWL.
Cos firstly, SWL is a hypocrite, and secondly, cos I didn't help her on something tts for her benefit, she told other ppl tt I am not a fair person. Bloodyhell k.. Is giving my fren work to u fairer to my fren when I know u are the kind who will jus edit some parts and make it urs? NOWAY!!
Therefore, I've decided, I'll put tt thing into my locker and wait till she ask me for it. Fair or not fair? I think I made my instructions clear before it's passed to me. So whether u are happy or not, I am not going to go tt extra mile to specially pass it to u! Pui both of them la! Argh.
Anw, ASM had been pissing me off recently too. STOP asking me to send u my company docs!! I said there are somethings I can't send to u! Haiz not tt I dowan to help, I jus dun see the need to risk myself. And she kept asking me how to do her stuff. I told her once, the next day she asked me the same thing again. For work, I refused to repeat or do double work. It's not value adding. Plus, I have not much exp in the thing she's doing. So if my words are so right, I might as well do her job and get her pay! Haiz
Then ytd nite, I received a FB msg from CN. Again, I had help her secured a job here. But then, she had decided to stay w her current job, and didn't tell me till YTD! I am not exactly pissed, cos I realised tt she is the very emotional kind which I fun think the rest of the ppl would be happy working w. So I am actually quite relieved. But I was jus not happy tt she didn't tell me when I asked her on the 6-jul. Cos she had decided on the 3-Jul. jus how stupid I feel now? And yes, even if she's my good fren, she's out of my recommendation list too. Yes, too bad. I dun like to be taken as a fool. And I realised, this is not the first time she did this alr. First time was at Ritz. Idiot. Haiz
Anw, jus hope she knows what she WANs, else no one can help her. Not young anymore too.
Anw, I think I screwed my interview last week. There are second tots cos I dowan to be in a world of politics too. Then RM came to tell me, even if I dun get this position, I can always try his and he'll recommend me. Haiz. But thinking of LCC is also sian half. Argh.
I can't wait to come out on my own. >.<
gotta meet prof after work also!! Sian!! Haiz

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
7:32 AM

Ytd boss came to talk to me abt the human resources in the lab and WFL condition.
it is confirmed tt i shall lose my 3meter table..
and yes, i shall be doing LC.
and yes, i rather be doing LC than small tests.
argh. i also dunno la.
I only know, i am doing for WFL good.
I hope she understands and take care of herself.
haiz.
Today, i received email from Andrew for the 2nd interview, which is tml!!
seriously, i am not worried abt it, i am only worried abt what to wear!
cos i got no formal wear alr. T_T
But the HR dun seem to be too friendly. =/
"Andrew Lee asked me to arrange this slot. Hope everyone please accept as it is not easy to get all availability (look like my job is enlarged lately to schedule interview slots, sigh !, I have more than enough to do)"
very vocal. hmm.
anyway, it is known that JUR is a world of politics.
and i wonder how am i going to survive thru that.
I hate fake ppl. argh.
and boss, announced today that WFL will come to microlab, and i will be taken out to do chemical testing, then eventually, pass my things to the new colleague to do, cos i will be out to do some other stuff. =/
after the meeting, PFT came and challenged me, "so what is he going to get u to do???"
seriously, i dun like ppl calling boss "he". i feel its very disrespectful.
so, i told her abt the 2nd interview, in the presence of CCL.
I really dunno how to resolve the misunderstanding btw her and boss. haiz..
they said that its like confirmed i will get it, and congrats me. =_=
but anw, i am good at belittling myself that PFT asked how come i can get selected if i did all those stuff during the 1st interview.
I was a little insulted. but anw, its jus that the tone i used was diff, thats all.
then we discussed abt WFL condition. everyone's worried. even boss threathened her that she have to go for her medical appts, else he will personally make appt for her with his contacts in the hospital. ya, if u are wondering, hes from that field too.
anw, TQW also came and congrats me. =_= and i wonder how he know abt the 2nd interview. =/
and made a bet w me tt i will get it.
i told him tt the other interviewee is strong too. he said, its diff, cos i got backers.
=/ ya.. so.. i am even more stressed can.. =(
i wanna go in cos of capability, not cos of backers. haiz.
now i am thinking alot too, like if i were to go, what will happen here etc. haiz..
there are so many hidden things that i had been doing for them (not illegal stuff hoh).
as in all the documentation stuff etc. argh. =(
anw, i really dun like news to spread so fast, that even ppl i dowan to have any contact w also know. wth.
WFL came to tell me, she dun think i will like the job.
seriously, i dunno as well.
but, i jus know, as long as i can find a little passion, a little purpose, i can do it.
when i forwarded andrew my results for O's and Poly, i kinda feel PS abt them.. hahaha... >.<
damn. its exam this sat, i wanna pull up my CAP.
ARGH...

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
9:36 AM

Jus now while sitting in the toilet, suddenly have the image of papa.. Hahaha I was going sleep soon lo.. Then his image pop up. He smiled and shook his head smiling, then suddenly an image of my O level cert pop up!
Omg, I totally forgot that my interviewer ask me to give him a copy of that cert and I told him tml.
Thanks papa! :))
Anyway, why copying my NUS results from the web to a document today (stupid NUS refused to gimme the complete transcript), I felt so upset! It's like, my results only started dropping after the time when papa got hospitalized.. It is really downward trend.
But anw, I told my interviewer that my results very throw face etc etc. Ok I was trying hard to crack jokes w him. :/ anw, that's jus me la huh.
Okok wat rubbish.
I think I am cranky cos I am sleepy.
Eyes hurting.
Last day of rest before I start chiong for exam this sat!
Woohoo!!
Thanks papa again!! :D
Nitez world. :)
Oh ya, get well soon daph. :)

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
11:34 PM

ok, i've been screaming since ytd nite.
silent scream u understand?
argh.
anyway, i realised, things that i tot i will be so angry i'll nv forget at that point of time, i can forget in less than one hours time.
jus like so many stuff at work, i jus get pissed off. but after an hour, i tot back, wat happened jus now? and go thru the events, and i cant remember what i got angry abt. =/
therefore, sometimes, there is no need to even be angry at that point of time, cos it wont matter after sometime.
at the point of time when u are angry, take a deep breathe and count to at least 7, depending on ur tolerance level. haha..
and think logically, is it that serious?
well, if u'd realise, most things wont matter after sometime, and thats true!

anw, last nite i nearly fight w sandy when everyone werent ard. cos i went to throw rubbish, then come back, she jus throw her nail polish stuff into the bin without putting a new plastic bag! switch off the tv and didnt switch off the main power! went to sleep without switching off the living room lights and fan! then sleep with her make up still on!
i couldnt take it, i went in her room and smack her, ready for a fight! it was like, wake up u bugger!! come and fight w me! i make sure u get it!!
but she only shouted, "wat??!!" and fell asleep!
wth k.. and i screamed at her like a lunatic and got no response! and slam the door, with no response at all also.
then i realised, i made a fool out of myself.
WTH.
irritating.
and i was so irritated, i jus saved watever work i did, and i jus send to my prof without any editing.
WTH.
irrational.
argh.
I hate the crap work.
ok, she win in terms of being totally nonchalent abt stuff.
IDIOT.
but being the me that i was and supposed to be, i sld have went on and hit her a few more times.
but i didnt.
GREAT IMPROVEMENT. good job.
argh. but i went in my room and stabbed my heart for a few times and did my cooling down therapy.
ok, i am not angry now, i jus wanna rant.
hahahhaa
=P
ok done. =)
its supposed to be a happy day again.
have a nice day!

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
9:33 AM

Have u ever had seriously mixed emotions coming altogether?
Happy
Sad
Angry
Excited
Smug
Eccentric
Relieved
Watever, everything!
I am laughing, tearing, sniggering, at peace, and heartaching at the same time.
I know it's not PMS..
Have u ever felt this way?
Retribution is on it's way...

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
1:10 AM

i was revising a work that i did 3 years ago.. and then while doing so, i tot to myself, why didnt i do this do that last time when i did it that time? and scolded myself an idiot.
THEN, after doing all the supposedly neccessary work, i realised why i didnt do this do that!
I am a stupid idiot now la!! do so much extra!
i was indeed smarter in the past.
EH!! GET BACK CAN!! DUMBASS!
haiz!
no more!
>.<

\\`jUz m3 mYs3lF & i`//
4:34 PM